It was a good plan. It was executed flawlessly. The only problem is, it ended up being a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Never in a million years did I think we would have the surgery cancelled. On Thursday, Trey took Brody to his Pre-Op appointment, did imagining, lab work and bloodwork, twice because they weren't able to get enough the first time. I thought if we made it through all of that we were in the clear and good to go. Thursday night, the night before surgery, was awful. I am not sure how I expected that night to go, but clearly was not prepared. Thursday is the one night out of the week we have nothing on the calendar, no practices or other obligations. Kids were playing outside with friends. When it was time to put Brody to bed, I called the kids home so they could say good night and give him hugs since they would likely be asleep still when we left in the morning. Brody went to bed happy and fell right to sleep. We sent the middle and the little (my new nicknames for them) to get their bath and shower done and that's when all the emotions set in. Colby has been struggling with the anticipation of this surgery for a while. He cried while he took a shower, when he got out of the shower, and when he went to bed. It's been a lot on him. He worries about his big brother a lot and does not want him to have surgery. We have talked about it with him and answered all the questions we could the best we could. In that moment of trying to comfort him before bed I was left feeling the most helpless I have felt as a mom in a long time. I had no other words or ways to calm his fears and settle his worries. I have tried everything I could think of, but I sincerely believe he just has to feel all the feels. There aren't ways to avoid it, you just have to get through it. Zoey doesn't quite know what she is supposed to feel. She said her goodnights to Brody and was good. When she saw Colby upset, that is when something triggered inside her and she began to be upset. Both kids wanted a stuffie of Brody's to sleep with, so I was able to get them a stuffed Mickey Mouse to snuggle while he is away. Brody's very first friend in Kindergarten has started a bracelet making gig and I asked her to make us all matching Mickey Mouse themed bracelets for while Brody was in the hospital. We would all have one and would think of each other every time we looked at them. I went ahead and put the kids' bracelets on, so they would have then ready for the morning. They both drifted off to sleep. I was able to finish all my packing and get everything ready for the morning. I went to bed completely exhausted and surprisingly, slept pretty well. I woke up about 4 to Brody's CPAP machine beeping and went in there to handle that. At that point, I was awake. I laid in bed and snuggled the kids a bit more, since they were both in there, before I went ahead and got up to shower. I took my time getting ready. Zoey woke up during this time (which is odd because I am always dragging her out of bed for school.) My parents showed up to the house to be there to get the kids up and off to school before coming to sit with us at the hospital. Just as Trey went outside to start loading the car to go, the phone rang and I saw it was TCH. My heart sank and I walked to the front door. The nurse on the phone said they were trying to catch us before we left because the surgeon had text them first thing this morning that he didn't get home from his surgery the night before until well after midnight and that he needed rest and wouldn't be able to do our surgery that day. Trey walked back in as I was on the phone and I know he saw it on my face. When I hung up the phone I lost it. I am really not a crier, but I burst into tears and cried one of those good hard cries that leaves your chest hurting. I explained the phone call to him and he just held me. Zoey came over curious as to what was going on and concerned because she has never really seen her Mom cry. I eventually pulled it together, but it was one of those things where every time I let my mind think about it, the tears started flowing. We dropped the kids at school and Trey, Brody and I went to breakfast. We came back home and I got on the computer and just started doing work stuff to keep my mind occupied. We were getting all sorts of messages of support for surgery day at which time I had to tell each person that it was cancelled. I think it actually kind of helped a little to just accept it and move on. Everytime I had to type the words it was with more and more lightheartedness and just an "oh, well what can you do." We waited for the phone call for when it would be rescheduled for and we finally started calling them in the early afternoon. I did not want to be left hanging all weekend. The scheduler said she was working on moving other things around and the earliest we would be able to get in would be Sept 5. So, two weeks from now, we will get to do it all again.
Because our weekend suddenly freed up, we were able to take some time and enjoy all the things. The middle and the little both had games this weekend. It was the one weekend where it appeared their games would overlap and both would have team pictures. No surgery meant a little less chaos and shuffling around. I was able to catch Colby's football game that ended in a shutout victory. I missed Zoey's soccer game, but heard she had a good game and they also had a victory. Zoey lost her other front tooth, so the tooth fairy got to visit. Colby's friend had his birthday party that I got to take the kids too and just sit back and relax. And now I get to sit in the quiet air condition with Brody while Trey plays in his last weekend of Softball games and the middle and the little run around and keep the concession stand in business.
We appreciate so much all the texts and messages people sent before and after the change of plans. I have always bragged about what a huge village we have and all of our villagers. From text messages, to meal trains, to gift cards we have so much support. I am left in awe every time I think about it. It really does take so much stress off of the situation and allows us to solely focus on Brody and his recovery. I know I have a massive list of people I can lean on for support and can jump in at any time to help with the middle and the little.
So friends, same time, same place, new date, Sept 05th.
